A Practical Application in Self-Control

One of the hardest things for an extrovert (and some introverts) to do is to let someone else shine in a given situation. It’s not that they don’t want others to advance, but they may have a hard time pulling themselves back to let someone else have the spotlight for a task or for a time. 

It takes incredible self-discipline and patience to wait and let others function in their gifts when we share that gift, too. But sometimes, we have to. It’s important for the well-being and confidence of others to give them opportunity to function in their gifts without interference. Often, when we think we are helping another person by getting involved during their “moment” of demonstration, we are actually taking away from it. 

This is especially true when we have had ample opportunity to function openly in our gifts and the other person has not, or the other person is asking for the opportunity to serve. It’s best to be supportive and be ok to let them have a turn without the need to say something that suggests, “I can do that, too.” It’s a deliberate choice on our part, and it requires self-control. 

In such situations, we should avoid giving advice or direction, or making suggestions when it’s not requested. Instead, we can ask, “How can I support you during your activity? Is there anything you need from me?” They will tell you if they want specific help. 


Let’s reflect by asking ourselves these questions and perhaps discussing them with a partner or friend:

“Where in my life has this been true?”

“What is the root of that behavior for me—that is, what’s the core angst or insecurity it stirs up within me? Why do I feel I have to ‘compete’ or be heard when it’s someone else’s time to shine?”

“In such situations, would I be okay if the people present never knew I have that gift, too?”

“Can I practice the art of giving the floor to another without the need for others to acknowledge my gift at that time?” 

“When, where, or how might I display or function in my gifting in an appropriate way?”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *